Don't make out with my wife yet
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
