he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
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