Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
