i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
