Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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