no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
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