You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
