maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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