i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Randomize
