So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
