i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize