I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Randomize