She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Randomize
