He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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