My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
