I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
