All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Randomize
