Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Randomize
