I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Randomize