Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
