But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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