is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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