im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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