He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
