I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
