nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
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