Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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