mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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