i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Randomize
