Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
