Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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