i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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