why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
