I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Randomize
