wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Randomize