Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Randomize
