just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
