Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
