I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
