new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
