His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
