Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Randomize
