his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
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