All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Randomize
