THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
