she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Mom said you looked used
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
