I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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