ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
17 year olds will be the death of me.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
being pregnant is like rehab
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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