Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Im part way to drunk.
Randomize
