His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
drinking out of a sandbucket again
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Randomize