Your mouth is God's brothel.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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