I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Randomize