Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
