if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Randomize