is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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